Saturday, October 6, 2012

WEEFEE (as my mother calls it)

That's WiFi for us youngsters.    Went into McDonalds for supper, it was a work thing .. really.    Anyway, do you notice that places like Tim Hortons and McDonalds advertise 'Free Wifi' throughout the restaurants, but for the most part (maybe its just me) it doesn't work right away, but seems to turn on just as you are done eatting?  No -- then tell me what the problem is; Yes?  Then join me in my confused look of ..well..confusion ... As I always have this problem with my iPhone (and before that my Blackberry).    Maybe its the reward from restaurants to their customers for actually leaving their establishments.

On another thought, should coffee shops have wifi to begin with?   I've brought my laptop to Coffee culture to check up some important sites (ie. Facebook, Boardgame geek), and I've silently pondered whether coffee shops benefit from Wifi, or if it actually keeps people from coming in because they (me) usually spread everything out on the tables so no one can come 'into my space' because all of a sudden Coffee Culture has become my own personal office?  

If I have a laptop in a coffee shop there is a certain string of thought going through my mental processes that goes something like this:  "ok now I'm almost done my coffee, should I get another one right away so that I can justify me being here?  Or should I just tap on my keyboard so that staff will think that I'm too busy for them to pay attention to and so I can sneak more time on my computer instead of feeling guilty that I'm in a shop and I'm taking up table space?    Hmm maybe I should have a donut or something, but I don't want the crumbs to gum up my keyboard, or worse, my fingers become covered in delicious sweet chocolate and then dirties my keyboard... then what?   Do I ask for a napkin, or will the employees give me dirty looks because I shouldn't stay as long as I already have?   Maybe I'll grab another coffee so I can slurp it down reeeaaalllly slow .. then it looks like I'm a customer who will leave the shop so someone can have the table I'm hogging, when I'm done my coffee but I'm a slow coffee drinker so it'll take a long time, thereby I don't have to feel the least bit guilty when people come in to find a seat but don't find one."

All of a sudden something that should be a great cozy experience becomes a rush of choices .. all because the coffee shop has wifi.  But perhaps its part of a larger picture ... perhaps its customers like me that the coffee shops want.

By offering free Wifi the resturaunt shows that they are offering something FREE, something of service to us the customers ... but this is a subcounscous ploy, in reality they don't want new people always coming in sitting down .. they need people like me, who stay for endless hours taking up table space because:
a) It means that they have to do less cleaning, because there are less customers coming and going.
b) Though people may come in, order their food and become disgruntled, in the end, they will come back because they won't blame the restaurant for the lack of seats, but the fat guy (me) who is a customer with a laptop that takes up too much space.
c) and the have a chance to make evil eyes at someone and play mindgames with that person checking boardgame geek, or at least all that said person to continue to have those said thoughts.
Want proof of this?   Remember before wifi, there were posters in Tim Hortons telling customers that they could only stay for 15-30 minutes for coffee?  Where are those signs now?    Exactly!

So Wifi is good for me, good for the stores, and good for the environment .. ok, perhaps not but it sounds good.    (ie Say anthing with 'its good for the environment' and your social standing has gone up at least 10 pts. in the eyes of someone you'll never see again)  .. So stores, please make my Wifi work on my iPhone .. helps me help you look good.   

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